The Mask
by KuroNoAki2772
Summary: One-shots based on Naruto's views of Team 7, and other people. Darker and more mature Naruto. Semi-AU! It's not a dark fic though. Series of One-shots. No bashing , but no loving Team 7, Sasuke and Sakura have been done.
1. Team 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

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Naruto POV:

Sasuke, Sakura and I were sitting in Training Ground 7, waiting for Kakashi to arrive. During that time, I observed my teammates. My pink-haired teammate, Sakura, was fawning over the raven heartthrob of Konoha, Sasuke, who was indifferent to her actions. As I watched them, bored, I started to ponder over a couple of things.

I wonder what I felt towards my teammate? Was it love? That was hard to answer, because in the first place I don't even know what love is. I guess, I do enjoy being with them, however, being with them everyday is really, and I mean really, suffocating. Especially since I'm half-acting as a dumb blonde, who is in infatuated with the intelligent female who hurts me, a lot. In my act, I also yell at the teacher for his lateness and completely dislike the Ice Prince A.K.A the Uchiha.

I say half acting because I do feel something for my teammates similar to how I act towards them.

It's just not completely love and hatred.

For Sakura, I do like the girl, but it's more admiration than anything else. I mean, she is pretty I guess, but I more admire what she has, which I don't have, than like her for her looks. I admire her common sense and knowledge. Basically I admire her smartness. She's pretty, but sorry; I don't even know what love is.

Besides it's because I'm not the most intelligent being in the world, in fact I'm more in the lower half. What do you expect? I mean, I have no parents, no guardians, and no family at all, I was kicked out from the orphanage, and I'm hated by 98% of the population of Konoha. And you expect me to know a lot? Well sorry to disappoint, but this is reality. So of course I would admire the girl who has so much intelligence.

Kakashi, well it's hard to say. If Iruka was the older brother/father I never had, then Kakashi would be like the secretive, lazy and sleazy uncle I never had. I could tell that he didn't exactly favour me when compared to my other 'siblings'. When he looked at me, I saw both regret and sadness in them. I have never seen anger because of the Kyuubi though, and that's one of the reasons why I do like him. And besides that...he's one of the few who are kind to me. Even though when I act, I yell at him a lot. Truthfully I do admire him because of his care-free and laid-back personality. It's what I would wish to be instead of the hyperactive blonde who always is excited

As for the Uchiha, instead of dislike, I would say more...bitter. Because even though we are both so alike, we're so different. We're both orphans, but at least he had the experience of a family first. We're both all alone, but he pushed those reaching out to him, while I was forced to be alone. We're both lonely, but while he doesn't bother to grab a helping hand, I don't even have a hand reaching out to me.

He's popular, rich, has a good heritage, educated, skilled, has good looks, and is the top of the class; he has everything going out for him, aside from his personality. But I'm an outcast, uneducated, an orphan, I have whisker scars scarring my face, am a prankster, and also am the dead last. And and the only thing going for me is my optimism. Of course I'm bitter, I'm only human. I have emotions other than happy and excited.

Hmmm, that reminds me, I wonder when I did first start hiding my emotions, and starting to act with a mask... I think it was that time... it was years ago.

It was when I had laid, beaten, in an empty alleyway, having been ambushed by a mob seconds earlier, and as I thought back on their words...my chest started to hurt. They had put a dent on my heart, making my emotions twisted and ugly, and when I was later found by the worried Hokage, I had no choice but to put the mask on. I didn't want to see another face so sad while looking at me...the crying faces of the mob that beat me up was enough.

I wasn't bitter at the crowd or anything, I was more angry at myself and the cruel world than anything else. I had felt pity for the mob, and I knew that they were sad because of me.

They were both so angry and so sad at the same time. Because of that I just watched as they punched me and kicked me. I also continued to watch, as they said their farewells to me, well if you could call, 'For the first time in your life, do something useful and die, demon' a farewell. I would call it more like a demand or a threat really. Actually I don't really know what to call it, I would actually call it more like a wish.

They really wished that I would die by myself; well that's what I think. However, for some odd reason, I felt like the negative emotions weren't really directed towards me. Perhaps that was why I wasn't exactly so bitter towards them; instead I felt more pity than anything. Their faces were just so pitiful, sad with tears. They probably sensed my pity, because at one point after they looked at my eyes, the beating grew harder. They probably didn't want such a pitiful being as me pitying them. I guess it was just simple pride.

Now that I think about it, I realized that they were probably aiming their anger at the Kyuub,i towards me, the host. But because, inwardly, they knew I was only the host, and had the body of a young child, they unintentionally became sad for me. It made sense, I guess, using me as an outlet because I'm the host of their most hatred being. Hmm, maybe that was why I wasn't as sad and pathetic afterwards, because at that moment I realized I wasn't the one truly hated.

But I still wasn't liked or respected either. And as I lay motionless in the alley, I watched the happy children with their families, and felt a desire. I wanted to feel love, be loved and respected, and have people who care about that. Of course it would be difficult regarding my status as the village outcast, but I still want it.

So I directed all my feelings towards that. Towards becoming someone everyone would love. And to the young me back then, becoming the Hokage was the best option, in fact, it still is. The Hokage is the most strongest in the village, and is respected greatly. As well as being loved by many, and adored by all.

Of course I realized it wouldn't have worked with my true personality, a sad and love-hungry dark being. In fact, I would probably have been more hated, so I decided than to keep the mask I had put on for the Hokage. The cheerful and happy child. And as I grew older, the mask became harder and harder to take off. So, here I am today, still wearing the same mask as I did years ago.

However, as I looked at my teammates in front of me, with a sense of admiration, I thought of something else. Truthfully, there was another reason why the mask was so hard to take off. It was because the mask started to become my true face, especially now that I am 'half-loved'. The mask was not completely a mask any longer, it was partly me. I smiled at that thought, because I really wanted to escape the dark feelings I had for the village at that point.

My thoughts settled, as a puff of smoke appeared. A male figure stepped out, Kakashi, and he smiled, saying, "Yo! Sorry I'm late. I had to help an old woman with moving." I sighed, grinning slightly, and stood up. "LIAR!" I yelled along with Sakura. Sigh, even though it's so dysfunctional, it still a family. I continued to grin happily as our team walked towards the Hokage's office, probably only to get the mission to catch that demon cat.

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**A/N: I tried a One-shot! Even though it probably sucks...oh well. Anyway it's basically a one-shot about the inner thoughts of a darker and more mature Naruto. I guess it's technically an AU though... Anyway, please review! Please tell me if you think I should make it series of One-shots. Like make one for each member of Team 7.**


	2. Sasuke

**A/N: This is a one-shot prior to the series =D This is Naruto's opinion about Sasuke. It's kinda related to the previous one-shot though, it has the same Naruto with a mask. = ) This whole series is about a Naruto with a mask =D  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

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**Naruto's POV:**

**I fell to the ground, bruised and beaten, wincing from the overly loud shrieks of the fan-girls rang through my ears. In front of me, stood the last Uchiha alive, Uchiha Sasuke...A.K.A The Heartthrob of Konoha. I had lost to him in seconds! And to add salt to insult, he didn't even have a scratch! Him standing there nonchalantly did not help either.**

**Frustrated, I growled baring my teeth at him, making the crowd jeer at me. The raven smirked, and spoke, "That was pathetic...Dobe." I growled louder, and hurriedly stood up, posing, I pointed at him, ignoring the jeering from the crowd.**

******"Teme!...I'll beat you in the next mat-!"**  


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'RINGGGG!' the sound of an alarm clock rang through the house, startling the me from my deep slumber. I often had the same dream every night, with me always losing to the bastard Uchiha. I gritted my teeth, before yawning and stretching, my bones creaking, as I was still tired from the previous day's events. I had been training for the Genin exam the whole day. My body hurt like hell! And I even encountered this stupid cat! I swear it's the devil in disguide or something...it nearly killed me.

I shivered, remembering the claws of that demon scrathing against me repeatedly, as it tried to scratch my eyes out. Stupid cat, I'll kill it one day! I stood up, groaning at the lack of energy my body seemed to have, cursing to myself. I then went to the shower, and yes, I do shower, and did my normal morning routine. After showering, and stuff like that, I went to make breakfast. Guess what it was? Ramen? ...Well your wrong. It was cereal.

I don't eat ramen 24/7 you know, or else I would probably be dead by now. I ate it once or twice a day, cause I'm not as dumb as everyone believes I am. Just cause I have a lack of common knowledge and school studies does not mean I'm completely and utterly stupid. And besides what do you expect? I have no parents, no guardians, no family at all, I was kicked out from the orphanage, **and** I'm hated by 98% of the population of Konoha. And you expect me to know a lot? Well sorry to disappoint but this is reality.

As I sat down on a chair, at the small table I called my dining table, I ate my cereal. After finishing it quickly, my mind started to wonder. I had half an hour to get ready to boot, and go to my 'loving' team. Where I would then, try to think of rainbows and lollipops as I watch and hear, yes especially hear, my teammate, Sakura swoon over Sasuke. I mean, I don't hate my team, in fact I would probably say I like them if I did know what liking someone felt like.

...Sometimes I wonder if I am even able to feel any emotions besides annoyance and anger. I always just feel dead inside. It's been ages since I felt anything, and sometimes it makes me scared of myself. I don't know why, but sometimes in the night, I feel a chill inside of me, and something restricting. Like something's trying to escape from me, and whatever's keeping it locked, is slowly weakening.

I imagine that it's my dark side, the reason why I'm hated so much, and I don't even know what it is...and that's why it scares me so much... I wonder, will it escape one day? And will I no longer be there? Will my dark side completely devour me? These thoughts cross my mind everyday, and I am secretly terrified. I have no one to tell these thoughts to, i mean who will listen?!

The Hokage? Even though he's like my grandfather, I can't tell him. He may seem like he cares for me, and he may actually do, but I sense wariness in him. Like he doesn't completely trust me and is just waiting for me to break...even with the kind smile on his face. It's scary...it's as if I tell him, something bad will happen...but that's to be expected after all. I mean he's the Hokage! The village is the most important thing to him, whether he likes it or not. I am just a measly hated orphan. What's the use of me compared to a whole village? Nothing.

And Iruka? I do trust him, I mean he is like the older brother I never had, actually more like the father I never had. But still, like the Hokage, his loyalty belongs to the village. If my dark side is seen as a threat...he must eliminate me.

I don't have anyone else, so that's why telling my fears of the dark side are unimportant. I think the only one who can possibly understand me is...the Uchiha. He is after all, the only person who is similar to me at all. When he looks at me, I don't see the hate, fear and complete loathing I get from the others. The only thing I see is a lot of annoyance, and...understanding.

I feel like if i told him, he won't judge me. He'll tell me that I'm annoying, and I'm such a dobe for worrying about this, but he won't fear and hate me. It's in a way reassuring. And that's why he's my rival. And why I'm his. Because we are similar, and...because we help each other get stronger. What else are rivals for, other than motivation?

I know if you ever ask him what he feels about me, he won't say I'm his rival. He'll probably just say, "Naruto? You mean the dobe? Why should I tell you my opinion? I'll only say that he's the class idiot." This is fine, because he doesn't really badmouth me. He only says I'm an idiot. The only other people who will say something not completely badmouthing me are the other clan heirs, and possibly Sakura.

Even though I act that I love her, I could ever actually feel that way. She's just too different...she will never be able to understand me. But that's why I respect her. Because she's different from me in many ways. But I do wish she would stop hurting me soo much. It does hurt, you know. Besides, she's too in love with Sasuke, and that's why we'll never be together. Because me and him are too similar, and if we do end up together, I'll only remind her of him too much...

Anyway, continuing on. Unlike the clan heirs plus Sakura, Sasuke is in the same position as me. He's the most similar, but in the same way, he's the most different. I have to admit, he does have a lot of things going for him...and I am jealous. But I'm happy that I'm jealous, because that proves I'm still human. If I wasn't, I would have cracked long ago. Because that way I have something to aim for...so that I won't go crazy with feeling nothing.

I still can't say I particularly like him, or hate him. But I do feel jealous and understanding, and that's enough. Because he is my only rival after all. And who else understands you better than your rival?

As I finished thinking about that, I put the empty bowl that contained my cereal in the sink, and prepared to leave. I glanced at the poster of the Uchiha I used for motivation, and threw a kunai at it. It stuck directly at his stupid arrogant face. And as I looked at his smirk, I realized one thing. 'I still feel bitter about him. And I do feel another thing...complete and utter annoyance. Stupid Uchiha and his stupid face.'

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**A/N: Hahaha it sounds like he's confessing his love. Truthfully as I wrote this, it felt like he liked him. But no, sorry Yaoi fans. But he does feel like a brother to him...even if it's later on. XD I don't think I am good at writing these one-shots. =_=;;  
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	3. Sakura

**A/N: i am not a Sakura Lover, and definitely not a NaruSaku fan, but this is neither bashing or loving. However, it tilts more to the loving side than anything else.  
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**Disclaimer: i do not own anything ^_^ Except this plot of course**

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When I was very small, I liked looking at the Sakura trees. They were so beautiful, free and elegant, plus they were admired so greatly. In a way I both admired them, and disliked them. I admired their beauty, and elegance, but I was jealous of how loved they were. They were just so...more loved than me.

So, the little me, back than, had a wish. If i were to ever be reborn...I would like to be reborn as a Sakura tree. And than I could finally always be loved, even if I didn't know it. And that was my wish for a while, the one before I wanted to become Hokage.

It was foolish in a way, I wanted to become one because I wanted to be loved. But the were just plants, so did they have feelings or thoughts? Surely, if they were alive, than they must be able to think and feel. That was the logic I used back than, everything alive, must be able to do what humans can do. It was simple, but it made me happy. Because soon, it wasn't **if **I was reborn as one. It turned to, I will be reborn one.

So, you could expect what I felt when one day, I arrived at the academy, and saw a young girl with the hair colour of a Sakura tree, and the name of one. I was ecstatic, my image of her, was as a reborn Sakura tree. And since she was like one, so delicate, I watched from afar, just like she was the plant herself. Of course, I knew she was lonely, but it's not like she would benefit from being with me. I was the village outcast, and her parents were civilians. Most civilians hated me.

Sakura trees were to only be admired from afar, and that's what I did towards her. I watched and admired her from afar. The girl's name was Haruno Sakura.

During the academy, I was there as she befriended the Yamanaka. I was there when she became friends with many people, and became happy. I was happy for her as well, but it also felt wrong...because aren't Sakura trees supposed to be admired from afar? So why are so many people getting closer to her? And befriending her?

And that was when i began to realize something...she wasn't just a reincarnation of a Sakura tree. No, she wasn't. However. even though i began to realize that, I still watched her. It was already too much of a habit. Of course i did not spend all the time watching her, in fact, most things i knew was from rumors. So of course, I also knew when she fell in love with the Uchiha.

Of course when I heard it, I nearly bent down with laughter. I did just that when I arrived home, it was funny...once again the Uchiha received what I could not get. Even though he did not know, and neither did I know that I wanted it...but he had gotten a relationship to the Sakura. Even if it was not a relationship he refuted, I was still a bit bitter, but I was not angry at him. No, as it was not his fault.

However, even if I was a bit...heartbroken at the fact that she was now related to the Uchiha, even if it was an odd relationship...I still watched her. I continued to watch and watch, until the moment she stopped being friends with the Yamanaka. I had a feeling it was due to the Uchiha, and I knew it was neither anyone's fault. It was just purely fate.

And that was the moment she began to change...yes, she became stronger and more independent. And she now didn't need to only be admired from afar. That was when I realized that Haruno Sakura was not a reborn plant. No, she was purely a human, and that made me sick.

I did not exactly like or admire humans in general. I did not hate them, but I did not like them. So realizing the girl, I thought to be something that I was jealous of, and admired, was a human, did not exactly bode with me well. So i stopped paying her any attention, and that was when I stopped wishing to be reborn as a Sakura. Because I then knew, you could not.

Even though her change would be considered a good thing, it made her only human, and not a reborn plant. And I felt betrayed. Because of her, I thought that a Sakura could be reborn as a human, so that meant a human could be reborn as a Sakura. My hopes were raised, and for another time in my life, they were completely crushed. So I now felt nothing towards her...and did not acknowledge her presence anymore. She was just another human in my mind.

Years than passed, and my age had just reached the double digits, when I encountered her again. She was still in the academy...a rare thing, as most civilian girls quit by then. Of course, she did not exactly excel in the physical aspects, however she did in the mental aspects. And once again, she was another fan of the Uchiha like everyone else. She did not make a huge difference, neither did she make no difference. She was just a completely normal human.

However, than a time came. It was after I had trained a lot, and many wounds had adorned my body. I had been walking through the hallway, when I had bumped into someone, a girl, and I expected the shriek of repulsiveness. But I did not receive that, instead I received a gasp of disbelief, and a handkerchief. After a quick, "Are you ok? Well I really have to go now, so please take this. Take care." I was left alone in the hallway, holding a handkerchief, as I watched her leave in awe.

This was the first time I have ever received kindness from a civilian, a female civilian that was my age. The only other civilian that ever took notice of me, and treated me kindly, was Ayame, the girl at Ichiraku Ramen. So I was surprised, pleasantly surprised, and my admiration of her began again.

I than started to observe her once again, and I realized she, though a human, was different, she was once again similar to the beautiful tree. She was strong, independent, wise and beautiful. She also had a nurturing feel about her, and my admiration rose.

However, she was not just a Sakura tree, she was also human. So I then started to take a try in associating with her. But, she did not exactly acknowledge me. Well, i understand why. I was an outcast, going near me was basically social suicide. And her parents probably warned her of associating with me as well. However she did not exactly hate me, and she didn't not look at me with hate and refuse me either. So i was happy.

Of course, with my semi-annoying happy-go-lucky mask on, she did get irritated after a while. However, it wasn't until a year or so after, that she actually really showed her annoyance. The first time it was a simple glare when I got a bit too energetic and annoying, the second time was a calm 'stop' along with the glare. The third, was a yell. The fouth, was a light bump on the head, the fifth was a more stronger bump, and the sixth and onwards just got more worse.

Well it only ever got to a light beating, which was better than what I was used to. It didn't hurt that much, and the words that came out of her mouth were not too hurtful. Sure, they did sting, but in that way, it also made another aspect similar to a Sakura tree. After all, the petals of the Sakura tree bloom in spring, and after they have a magnificent bloom, they fall.

It was like her. She had bloomed in my eyes, and then fell for a while to hibernate. But just as the Sakura tree, she would bloom once again when Spring came. So I was not too hurt that she did not like me. After all, she was just another human. But she was a very special human...in my eyes at least.

And when the time came, and it was time for graduation, I still watched her with admiration, though not as high as the first time I saw her. She was still an avid fan of Sasuke along with the Yamanaka and often fought with her over him. The mask I wore, often declared his love for her, and I would watch her eyes fill with annoyance or anger, before she bonked me in the head. But, I did like seeing her in her natural state, instead of the 'sweet' act she showed for the Uchiha. Because it was natural, and it fit her.

However, sometimes I did wonder why I admired her, even with her qualities of a Sakura tree. I mean, she was a bit rude and mean to me. And I could have admired the calm and delicate Hyuuga instead. She didn't hate me after all. But, there was something about the pink-haired kunoichi. She was special in a way. It was perhaps...fate that I would admire her instead of anyone else. No it was fate, especially when i was grouped with her in a team with the Uchiha and the Hatake.

Fate made me find a human so similar to a Sakura tree, and it made me admire her. I don't know why, but it did. Because I didn't have to admire the Sakura, I could have admired the lavender. It would have been more easy. But I did not, so that has to amount for something doesn't it? After all, with all it's faults, the Sakura is always loved. And I am the one to love this Sakura, even if it is not a romantic love.

However, while a Sakura looks beautiful when loved, it looks best when in love. So because this one loved someone, even though he did not refute her love. In fact he mostly ignored it. That love must be sustained, for the Sakura to be in full bloom. As what would happen if that love was to die due to anger? She would no longer be beautiful, which will make her not able to be admired. So the anger must not go to any of those loved, instead it must go to the unloved. As if it went to the unloved, it would not destroy anything.

So that is why I must make her not like me, the unloved, and fuel her own love. So it is fate that I am with her, and have formed a relationship with her, even though not similar to the one she has with the Uchiha. For I am there to keep her in full bloom, and not in a droopy state with tears.

Because a Sakura tree is meant to be admired, and is best admired in full bloom with all of it's breathtaking pink petals.

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**A/N: Oh yeah, aside from Kakashi and Iruka, do you guys have anyone you want me to write about?**


	4. Kakashi -Part 1-

**Woah, it was unintentional, but I made this about Haku and Zabuza as well...whoops.**

** Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot~**

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When I first met the Hatake, he had just been affected by my childish prank. Sure it was not exactly good to do, nor was it really fun, but it helped me. Yes, playing pranks helped me...helped me to feel like a kid for once. It made me feel like a normal kid...especially when 'they' became angry at me because of it. Angry at me because of something **I **did, not what someone I was connected to, did. Yes, I could finally be really seen for once.**  
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However, the way he reacted surprised me. Instead of seeing the normal hate and anger in his eyes, I saw...was that fond sadness? He looked kinda happy...but a sad happy...like he was reminiscing...odd. I never expected this...and it scared me. This man wasn't looking at me like the other villagers...he was looking at someone through me. It reminded me of how the Hokage looked at me sometimes...looking at someone i reminded him off.

That disturbed me greatly, and I wanted to make it disappear. So, wanting him to get angry at the actual '**me**', I burst out laughing at his expense. "Gyahahaha! You fell for it! Your an idiot!" ...Blegh. Sometimes acting like this even annoyed **me** sometimes. Just like the 'good' girl she was, Haruno quickly apologized *sucked up* for me, "I'm so sorry Sensei! I tried to stop him...but Naruto..." Sigh, just like usual.

Instead of being angry at only me, the Hatake just eye-smiled, and said, "Hmmm...how can I say this? My first impression is...I don't like you guys~ Meet me at the rooftop." He then poofed away. As Haruno scolded me for making the teacher 'hate' them, i inwardly cursed. Damn, my plan failed. He still isn't 'looking' at me.

The team introductions with them going like this; the Hatake's being mysterious, mine being obnoxious, Haruno's being 'fan-girlish', and the Uchiha's being 'depressing'. He then told us stuff to scare us, and the meeting place for tomorrow. I walked home in deep thought after being rejected by Haruno to go eat, who was also rejected by the Uchiha.

Tch, the Hatake made me angry...the whole time...the whole time he didn't even look at me! He looked at the Uchiha with thought, and also the Haruno with disappointment, but when he glanced at me? He looked at me with pride...but it wasn't at me! It was like pride at me but someone else...

The more I thought about him, the more fear and disappointment I felt. Why won't he just look at me? I want him to look at me for me! ...Is that really so hard to ask for...? Sigh...maybe it is...for a 'demon' like me.

-0-0-0-

The next day made me somewhat dislike the Hatake more. He 'provoked' me, and insulted me. I was normally alright with it...but coming from him? It made me feel great disappointment and sadness. It was odd...I dislike him, but it was like I wanted his approval more than anything right now. And that scared me more than anything else. Aside from the few times I wanted it from the Hokage, the owner of Ichiraku Ramen and Iruka, I never wanted approval from anyone else. I was tired of never receiving it. So why would I suddenly want it from someone I dislike so much?

This thought baffled me. and it further baffled me even more after the test. After I learned some of his past, i noticed something. When he had looked towards the stone, he briefly glanced at me with sad eyes again. This angered me so much...why does he keep looking at someone else when he looks at me? Doesn't he realize I'm a person too? So...why?

I had then surprisingly passed...when Sasuke had given me food, and Sakura had reluctantly did so too. He appeared and congratulated us...and that was when he finally 'looked' at me. I knew he still hadn't acknowledged me...but it was still work in progress.

When I was left tied to the pole, I sighed. Why do I have to be so mindful of him? I'm used to not being 'looked' at...but there's something about the way he looks at me...ah that's right. He looks at me with great sadness...and I'm sick of that. i don't want people to look at me with those eyes anymore...those eyes filled with sadness...

I sighed once again, before struggling against the rope. I was barely able to get the kunai I kept in my jacket's arm just in case of situations like this. After getting myself out, I then walked to Ichiraku Ramen. I was tired, and not feeling really good enough to go, but i promised the owner...and if there's something I would always do...it would be to keep a promise.

I arrived at the stand, and the owner and his daughter welcomed me. After finding out I passed the test, they congratulated me and gave me a bowel on the house. I finished that one, and ordered a few more emptying my wallet. I always had a huge appetite/metabolism for some reason, I never actually knew why...perhaps it's because of the Kyuubi, but I don't really know.

After I finished eating, I thanked the owner for giving me a bowl on the house, and left for home. I sighed in relief when I arrived...luckily tonight, there was no verbal abuse shouted at me. Nights like these, were the ones I appreciated the most.

-0-0-0-

I remember the first time the Hatake really acknowledged me. It remains as clear as day in my mind. It was during my first C-rank mission, the Wave mission. It was just after I had helped save him with the help of Sasuke. "You guys sure have grown." Kakashi had said to us, and at that moment I felt that he had really acknowledged me. it gave me joy and a sense of accomplishment.

As soon as the warm filling filled me, it quickly was replaced with more fear and thoughts of horror...why? Why am I so reliant on this man...? Have I really stooped so low as to care about what this man feels about me? ...No, I must not. I made a promise to myself. To never be affected by what anyone thought again...but then why? Why must I feel like this?

...I don't know, but I don't want to think about it any more. My mask was glued on perfectly as more events passed. A masked-nin took away our enemy, and the Hatake fainted. While truthfully I didn't really care that he fainted, it was only unconciousness, and there seemed to be no major injuries on him, I admit that I did feel some sort of worry...I was only human after all.

Maybe that's why I'm starting to feel so...dependent again...am I regaining my human self again? If so...then this is terrible. I don't want to become human again! Being human will only just give me pain...and disappointment. I can only remain as the middle line...not human, but not inhuman...yes, the perfect middle line.

But then why is it...that a part of me wants to become human again? I don't know...but I know this will only end up in pain. As I followed the bridge buider to his house, helping my team carry the Hatake, a sense of being lost filled me.

Why?... Why is that I no longer know what to do anymore?

-0-0-0-

I stood still, shock filling me as I observed the scene in front of me. Haku dying, the arm of the Hatake stuck in his chest. The Hatake with shock written all over his face. And Zabuza, with 'delight' as his expression. While this scene could both be a picture of loyalty or coldness...I knew better. This was a picture of betrayal...with the boy that promised loyalty getting killed, while protecting the man he respected most.

As for the man respected, he now had a cold look on his face, probably hiding the sadness he felt...yes, the perfect picture of betrayal. As what's a more worse betrayal then the only person you have left, abandoning you...?

The pain of being left is greater than anything else...and the scene in front of me was quite common...so why did I feel so much remorse? I didn't do anything wrong, so why did I feel it? ...I really don't know what's happening to me anymore...

I glanced over to the still body of of teammate, guilt filling me even more...why did he even protect me anyway? ...Does he really think i am so weak to be protected by another genin? To be protected by the sacrifice of my very own teammate? ...If so, then he must be insane...but it's too late to scold him now...because now there's a chance he could be dead.

The fight continued, with the result being another betrayal to Zabuza. Betrayed twice in two days, how depressing, is it not? As the greedy pig explained his betrayal to Zabuza. He then kicked still body of Haku, causing a flame of anger in me...should the dead not be respected? Just because life is no longer in them, should the bodies be disrespected? ...No, the dead should not be disrespected.

Zabuza was soon defeated, but only after defeating most of the underlings of Gato, and the greedy pig himself. Only using his mouth at that... I have regained some sort of respect for him because of this.

As Zabuza fought, he commented on how he would never be able to go to the same place as Haku... Due to the separate realms of Heaven and Hell. His comment had me thinking...which realm would I fit in? The realm of hell fit for a demon? Just like everyone calls me? Or Heaven? The realm of peace? ...Heh, I doubt either. Both Heaven and Hell would both reject me once again, just like everything else.

I wonder though...the man also given the name of demon, 'The Demon of the mist, Zabuza' and his lackey, Haku, would they be considered good or bad people? Would they really be fit to be considered bad enough for hell, and good enough for heaven? The man who is always betrayed Zabuza, but has also killed many, and the one who was betrayed by his own father and people, Haku. I wonder...does anyone even realize how thin the line between good and bad is?

As I stared at the dying body of Zabuza, a sense of remorse filling me once again, a voice entered my ears, "Naruto. Don't look away...that's the end of a man who lived a difficult life." Hatake said. Hmph, I already know...the end could be considered the best part for men like these...men who had had lives...

My thoughts were interupted, as a voice called out to me,"Naruto! Sasuke's alive!" Sakura yelled happily over to me. So he is alive...I see. But still, the thing that makes me curious...is to why I feel so relieved that tears are leaving my eyes...

I think I might be...getting feelings for my team. This isn't good...but I'm too tired to stop it...maybe I should just let it continue...? Who knows...

The rest of Gato's 'goons' soon turned onto us, most likely wanting payment for their time...In reality, that was stupid. Why don't they just go back to Gato's hideout, and take whatever is there? Even if most of his money is locked into a safe, why not just take his belongings laying around? ...How foolish. The villagers lead by Inari stepped up to them. I decided to offer some sort of help, making multiple shadow clones. Hatake followed, making many clones as well...fake, but it was reasonable due to how little chakra he had left.

I watched as the Hatake walked over to Zabuxa, as he requested to see Haku's face one last time. Kakashi agreed to his request, carrying Zabuza over to Haku. As he did this, snow started to come down...

When Kakashi arrived, Zabuza thanked him, and turned his head to Haku. "I-If I could...I would like to go to the same place as you..." As I looked up at the sky, I made a comment. "Haku...he was born in a snowy village..." "I see...then he was a boy as pure as snow..." Hatake commented. It was then that I realized that I was maybe wrong about Kakashi...he might not be the same as everybody else.

**-0-0-0-**

It was two weeks later...two weeks after the death of Zabuza and Haku. Team 7 now stood in front of their grave. As I reached for the offerings made to them, Sakura hit my hand. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! THAT'S BAD KARMA!" I outwardly laughed...geez it's hard acting like this. Sakura turned to Kakashi, asking, "But...Kakashi-sensei?"

"Hmm?" He replied. "Were...Were these two correct about ninja?" Kakashi hummed, before replying, "A ninja's job is not to purse his own goals...his job is to become the country's tool. Even Konoha is like that." There was a silence after that. I hummed in reply, before responding, "Is that what it really means to become a true ninja...? I don't like it!"

There was a pause, before Sasuke commented, "...Is that what you believe as well?" I stayed silent...that was actually what I believed too. A ninja was merely a country's tool...but that wasn't why i became a ninja. I didn't try so hard to become a ninja just to become a tool...I became one to be seen! Seen as myself! That's why I became a ninja!

"Ok I just decided...I'm going to be a ninja in my own way..." I declared. There was a silence. And from the corner of my eye, I saw Kakashi eye-smiling at my declaration...was that pride I saw? ...No I must be going crazy.

* * *

**I've decided to make this into two parts...cause I thought it would fit, and otherwise this would be too long if I were to continue until it finished...**


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